3 Bedroom Waterfront home with Pool and boat dock

*********Welcome to Your Canal-Front Vacation Escape
Welcome! Please make yourself at home, but preferably not permanently unless you want to leave your tab open.
This fabulous canal-front home has all the important vacation features, and a few extras you didn’t know you needed until now.
Enjoy the screened-in porch, perfect for morning coffee, evening wind-downs, avoiding mosquitoes, or quietly judging people who forgot to bring snacks.
Step outside to the in-ground cocktail pool, designed for maximum relaxation and minimum productivity. Warning: side effects may include loss of track of time, extended floating sessions, and suddenly deciding you should probably live here permanently.

There is also an upper-level uncovered deck overlooking the canal and bay, ideal for sunset watching, fresh air, and pretending you’ll “just sit for five minutes” before three hours mysteriously disappear watching boats turn around in the Bay.

For the fishing enthusiasts (or the “I’m just here for the vibes” group), there is a fish cleaning area, so you can keep the adventure outside where it belongs. Just make sure to have a fishing license if you are over 16 years old. Apparently, “young at heart” is not considered a legal exemption by the warden. Believe me, I tried it.

Outside, you can park your boat right at the dock because nothing says vacation like stepping off land and immediately questioning your boating skills in the best possible way. There is no boat lift, but tying up to the dock is easy.

Inside, the home offers spacious living areas, granite countertops, and stainless Jenn Air appliances, so you can cook like a chef if you push the knob down first or reheat leftovers like a very confident chef.

********* Parking Instructions
The circular driveway makes it easy to enter and exit the property.
You can fit about 3 cars comfortably. Please do not park on the street, the association has strong opinions about that.

Low riders should proceed with caution when leaving the driveway… unless your goal is to help resurface the road on your way out. The driveway and low-clearance vehicles are not always best friends.

********* Wi-Fi Information
Let’s answer the most important question first, especially if children are present: the Wi-Fi password, which will likely be asked before anything else (including where the bathroom is).

There is a sign in front of the TV in the living room, but if you somehow miss it, the password is:
“absurdwhale448”
Do not blame me. That password came with the modem. I did not create it, and honestly, I’m a little concerned about the whale myself.

********* Bedrooms
After entering the house, you’ll find the main bedroom downstairs. It’s the largest room with its own “hers and hers” closets and bathroom, including a separate bidet for guests who enjoy a more international bathroom experience. Why it is located so far from the toilet remains one of the home’s great architectural mysteries… and unfortunately not one we designed.

Naturally, the person who paid for the trip gets first pick. We believe this is a universal vacation law.

Upstairs you’ll find two additional bedrooms for guests who are still on speaking terms with stairs.

• The bedroom to the right has a queen bed, a balcony overlooking the bay, and a couch in the office area that turns into a single bed. Perfect for coffee, relaxing, or pretending you live here full time.

• The bedroom to the left has two twin beds, perfect for children, friends, or couples who believe space is a form of love after a long day.

********* Bathroom Locations
Besides the main bathroom and the upstairs bathroom between the bedrooms, there is also a hall bathroom located right behind the bar area.

No need to wander far and risk missing the party or possibly the gossip. No worries, the light comes on automatically, which feels especially appropriate considering its location behind the bar.

********* Door Locks to Patio
The exterior door locks are high-security locks, which is a polite way of saying even we occasionally forget how they work.
For now:
• Push the handle UP (not down)
• Then turn the lock knob to lock or unlock. If it feels backwards, that’s because it probably is.

********* Stove Instructions
If you decide to cook during your vacation instead of surviving entirely on restaurants and DoorDash, please remember:
You must slightly push the stove knob DOWN before turning it.
The stove will not work unless pushed DOWN first. Apparently, it does not trust strangers.

********* Grill & Outdoor Rules
Unfortunately, as usual, one person ruined it for everyone else.

After a previous guest decided the deck itself was an excellent grill and successfully barbequed several deck boards, we no longer provide a grill.

Some guests bring their own, which is fine, just please be careful. Deck boards do not make good charcoal, and the food does not improve with wood seasoning.

********* TV & Streaming Instructions
There are several remote controls on the table.
Good luck. Seriously.

Keep pressing buttons and eventually something will happen, usually not what you expected. We are still trying to figure it out ourselves.

Just remember to log out of streaming accounts if you don’t want to share your subscriptions with future guests

********* Air Conditioning
There are two AC units in the house, and the upstairs unit is brand new.
Please keep doors closed while the AC is running. The house takes a while to cool down, and the AC will start working overtime… and unfortunately, she has already informed us she expects overtime pay.

********* Towels & Sand
Please do not put sandy towels into the washer or dryer.
Shake them outside first.

The washer gears are extremely allergic to sand.

Extra towels are located in both downstairs and upstairs closets.

********* Pet Rules (Important)
Pets are allowed on a case-by-case basis and must be pre-approved.
We love animals, but we also like to make sure they are not planning to redecorate the house, the dock, or the furniture.

Pets are welcome and loved. However:
• No pets in the pool.
Our lab once treated the pool like it was his personal Olympics training facility. The pool filter is still emotionally recovering.
• Wet pets must be dried before entering the house.
Wet dog + furniture = a smell that tends to extend its stay longer than the guest.
• Pets are not allowed on beds.
Some guests are allergic, and the maid charges extra for “fur confetti” removal.
• Please pick up after your pets.
The yard is fenced, which is great for pets and unfortunately also great for hiding “surprises” for the next guest.

We love pets, but we also love the next guests having a nose-based positive experience and will not be happy stepping on landmines.

********* Deck Ladder & Water Equipment
The deck ladder is meant to enjoy the water, not become a permanent resident of it.
• Please remove it from the water after use
• Barnacles attach quickly and do not pay rent
• Once attached, they become sharp little tenants nobody invited
If it goes in the water, it should eventually come back out of the water too.

********* Trash Pickup Details
Extra garbage bags are located under the kitchen sink.
Please place trash inside the outdoor bins and close the lids. Do not listen to the raccoons — they are clever, organized, and highly motivated. We suspect they may have union representation.
If you would like to recycle:
• Green bin = recyclables
• Blue bin = household garbage
The maid places bins near the road on Mondays. If you are staying on a Monday, please move the blue bin to the curb. The green recycling bin is picked up every other Monday.

Inside the house, please place trash in the pull-out bin to the LEFT of the sink. Pull the tray out first before attempting any advanced basketball-style trash dumping.

******* A Few Friendly Reminders Before Checkout
Checkout time is 11:00 AM.
If you need a late checkout and there is no same-day arrival, just ask and we’ll try to accommodate. No need for the maid to discover anyone mid-dream or mid–“just five more minutes.”
Before leaving, please:
• Double-check for phones, chargers, clothing, children, and spouses. Future guests may not appreciate surprise roommates.
• Place Garbage in the bins and Pick up after pets (the raccoons are watching)
• Report anything broken or acting like a haunted pirate ship
Most importantly, hope you had a relaxing time and enjoyed your stay! And if you had a great time… we always appreciate those magical 5-star ratings.
Have a safe trip back.