The Roaming Gnome Hits the State Fair of Texas
Chaps, I have two words for you: Fried Butter.
When I heard they’d be serving it at the State Fair of Texas last weekend, I knew I had to pop over to Dallas and see what all the fuss was about. A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, you say? Bah humbug! I defy you to try Fried Butter without swooning. And just for kicks, I had a slice of Fried Pizza too. Calories, schmalories. If fair food is wrong, I don’t want to be right.
Once I could move again, I thought I might like to go on a few rides. Alas, we Gnomes are wee chaps and I wasn’t tall enough to be allowed on most of them. Thank goodness my pointy red hat gave me a few extra inches! I was able to take a spin on the Texas Star, and then a rather frightening ride that flipped me over, spun me around, and—just between you and me—sort of made me regret all that Fried Pizza a few hours before.
After that, I thought I’d take it easy for a little while, so I tried my hand at a few games. What do you think of the shades I won at the ringtoss?
Texans love their farm animals, and I had a smashing time visiting them, though I did get rather a complex about my height after meeting a baby giraffe. Even sitting down, he towered over me! Thanks for rubbing it in, old chap. I may be small, but I’m perfectly formed!
When I saw a sign for Tiny Tim, the World’s Smallest Horse, I knew we’d be able to relate to each other. Unfortunately, he still seemed gigantic to me, though I think my visit did rather boost his confidence.
Feeling the need for speed, I mosied over in the direction of a dashing yellow Camaro I spotted from the corner of my eye. Turns out, it was the Camaro from the Transformers movie, and they even let me sit in the driver’s seat! If only I could have reached the pedals….
They say everything’s bigger in Texas, and the fair was no exception (thank goodness I stopped for a funnel cake to keep me going.) After paying a quick visit to Big Tex, I said my farewells and headed back to my hotel room for a well-deserved nap.
I must have started a trend, though—I hear Oprah’s going to the State Fair of Texas on Monday. Oprah, my dear, if you need a guide, just give me a ring.
My name: The Travelocity Roaming Gnome
How I earn my keep: I roam the world finding great deals, upholding the Travelocity Guarantee, and looking rather handsome while doing it.
What kind of traveler I am: A small and perfectly-formed one.
Greatest travel lesson learned: Just because you can climb into the overhead baggage compartment and stay there for the rest of the flight, doesn’t mean you should.
Travel ambition: To never again miss my plane because I’ve stopped to take a photo with a fellow traveler who’s spotted me. Ah, it’s tough work being a charmingly lovable travel mascot, I’ll tell you that.
First thing I do in a new place: Make friends.
When I’m not traveling: I’m browsing the SkyMall catalogue, toasting crumpets, testing beard conditioners, and planning my next trip.