With the royal newlyweds gearing up for a US visit next month—come on, who doesn’t secretly think they’re going to catch the eye of Wills and convince him that it should have been you?—I thought it appropriate to present a little lesson in British slang. As well as being my home country, England is one of my top vacation destinations. Here are my top five favorite pieces of slang to take with you on your next trip across the pond.

All right? – Fairly interchangeable with “how’s it going?” The correct response is just to say “all right?” back again to the person who asked you in the first place. Seems a little self-defeating, sure, but go with it.

Bird/Bloke – A “bird” is a woman and a “bloke” is a man. For maximum authenticity, use these with “fit,” which means attractive. (“Wow, did you see that fit bloke over there?”)

Last week, I had the splendid job of jetting over to London for the Royal Wedding. Why? Well, I figured Kate  Middleton needed a “something blue.”

Ha! Get it? Because I wear a blue coat? Tell me I’m not the funniest gnome you’ve ever met.

I flew over on Virgin Atlantic, which is always a pleasure, and stayed in the rather smashing Kensington Hotel. Now, I stay in a lot of splendid hotels, as you can imagine, but this one really took the (wedding) cake.

Do you have to purchase a ticket? No. Do you want to? Maybe. Policies vary by airline, but in general, a child under the age of two can travel with an adult for free or for a small percentage of the adult fare as a “lap passenger.”  But having a “lap child” with you is exactly what it sounds like – if the seat next to you is occupied, your child will be traveling on your lap for the duration of the flight. On a long flight, this may get quite uncomfortable for you and your child.