Hullo there! It’s the Travelocity Roaming Gnome here, and I’ve got to tell you, I’m just chuffed about the impending nuptials of Prince William and Kate Middleton—or as I like to call them, old Wills and his bird. Won’t they make a splendid couple?
As you can imagine, I was William’s first choice for best man, but I had to turn him down because I didn’t want Harry to be hurt. “Not to worry, old chum,” I said. “I’ll just make sure I’m guest of honor instead. I’ll even wear my very best pointy red hat. Oh wait, I’m always wearing my very best pointy red hat.”